been a while..
lots happened , but not sure what or how to write it..

so here we go - click on the following link instead... "the franken wonk"

tutup mata

I'm closing my eyes and shutting everything out. At least for now.

5 more days, and I'll open them back up.
Fairly sure everything will rush back in like a flood.

Wish I can closed it longer, but its probably best that I don't.

They say when you truly wish it, you have to believe in it. And it will happened.

I have wished for it.
And it has happened.

I'm glad of it

But it still hurts

time....

673 days since i last flew that far back
635 days since i last saw them
303 days since the dooms day
262 days since that work relationship ended
261 days since i woke up and thought "omg, don't have go today"
260 days since i realised my hair no longer falls out
197 days since i woke up and thought "i'm not sure i can do this"
183 days since i "not realised what they're doing"
147 days since the bad stuff begin
164 days since it a new one started
159 days since my hair started to fall out again - a lot
132 days since my last post
120 days since i woke up and thought "what have i gotten myself into"
60 days since i started juggling 2
29 days since the old relationship was questioned
8 days since the old relationship reignited
8 days since it suddenly hits me that i'm juggling 3
2 days since the i realised juggling is hard work and one bound to lose over the other
2 hours since i swore
4 minutes since i hope i can turn back time
. . .

many can be added in between those lines
many i hope can be erased between and within those lines

what done is done
that's why regret is called regret

there has been too many days
yet it seems like it's only yesterday

and it is only yesterday, that i realised what a cynic one has become
"you now realised that it's not all perfect" one said once

i don't like what i have become
the thoughts that run through
the bitterness that has become of me

"if only" are the words
if only time can be turned
if only you think before you speak
if only you have taken a different path
if only i can keep telling myself 'everything happens for a reason'

i guess i can keep telling myself that
problem is i don't think i believe it anymore

i don't know why my thoughts kept going back to that one

"And how long have you been seventeen?" "A while"

stephanie meyer

It's been a while since I read any books. I used to remember when I used to finished a book in one day, and always have another lined up to read next.
I can't remember the last book I properly read. And I miss those times.

I now have a number of unread books on my shelf, no more than a few pages read, before I shut them and left them where they are, gathering dust.

I am now reading another, and I think this is going to be a good one, hopefully will start me reading the others following.

And I, like all girls in the world, am now in love with Edward Cullen.

baking frenzy

i never thought i'd do this again, but here i am...
it's almost 2am and things are far from finished. (O_O;;)

anyhow... i'm going to bed

harga barang baku

c: eh, harga gula uda naik lho...
m: oh yah? gimana dong jadi??

. . .

m: kita kayak mak mak aja yah ngomongin harga gula naik
c: huahuahuahuahuahuauha

a conversation

c1: do you know the reason loe kangen sama dia?
c2: sometimes, i think the person is reason enough

(a while back)

**gini deh bawaan kalo abis nonton high school musical3 & twilight

it seems like the overthinking continues, despite all tries not to think about it at all.
*sigh

why am i always over thinking stuff?

so i'm watching house. season two episode one.

if someone is on death row,
why don't they just do it? why do they have to make them wait? years sometimes...

eightsixty

a beautiful collection of photographs from Rick Carter.

http://www.eightsixty.org/

6 hours of going around the city... and i'm tired.

is it that one and half piece of sausage roll from the bakery on bourke street not enough to sustain the energy for the whole afternoon?

or is it simply because i'm getting old?

star spotting of the day

Pete Murray (or a pete murray lookalike, i can't be too sure :P)
Luke Mangan (this one i'm sure)

and...
a plump duck confit.

YUMMMMMMMM

you know how... & do you ever...

you know how some people sing in the shower,
well some people go through whats in their head while in the shower.

do you ever be that much in thoughts that you forgot if you've soaped yourself or not
& so have to do it again?

10 boxes

due tomorrow.
they're just done.

i'm so grateful that ma's here to help. otherwise i'm gonna go pingsan! Been standing up for 15 hours today, minus a few minutes where i spent sitting on the stepping stool, eating my dinner in front of the oven (yes, a sad view :P )

check back tomorrow if you want to see what's in the boxes. i'm too tired to take photos of them now. *bleary eyes

*ok, it's now tomorrow, look here for what's in the boxes

bye for now!!

this sunday afternoon

today's such a beautiful sunday afternoon!!!

this is how i've been spending my afternoon. Went outside to sit and read at the backyard because it was too cold inside. The sun will be a nice change I thought. And it was sooo nice...

Then the cats came and sat with me for a while. They sat under my chair while i sat there, holding my book with one hand, and stroking the cat with the other.

Then lunch came. Mum came out with the salad, then Kiki came out with the lamb, next thing I knew, everyone's outside.

We're all full now, and the picnic blanket has been taken out. The chairs were moved and we're laying on the picnic blanket. Away from the sun though... some people take baby steps.... maybe next weekend we'll sit out in the full sun. The guitar came out, and the novel stays out.

The phone rang, a friend cancelled our meeting for this afternoon. All good timing, I'll happily sit here for a few more hours.

And now, the mac is out, and I'm typing this in the breezy cool wind.

Ah.... live's good when it's like this

thursday nights... on 7

channel 7 that is...

heroes
followed by
prison break
followed by
scrubs

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course i missed all of them today.

the joy of blogging

oni says: (12:21:42 AM)
kadang yah malah, kalo lagi liat balik gini, found some yang dulu nulisnya pake 'metaphor' biar ga ada yang tau arti aslinya at that moment

oni says: (12:21:48 AM)
yang ada... sekarang gw ga inget itu apaan

ngelangelangelangelangel says: (12:23:09 AM)
huahahaha iya bener2